Better him than me...

Babbles is in Colorado visiting Cruella DeBoner for... like... the next year or something. I'd say that means we'll be Babbleless, but I'm guessing he's bored already so we'll probably be hearing from him with stunning frequency. (Do they have the interwebs in hell?)

I think he thinks there will be a lot of this:






When really I'm pretty sure it's going to look a lot more like this:


And this:



And this:


Too harsh? She once choked me in her living room. Until I turned blue. In front of about 6 people (none of whom stopped her--thanks, mom and dad.)

Here's a hint, Babbles: If she goes for the throat, put your finger in your nose and pretend to try to wipe it on her. She'll be too busy barfing to maim you.

Activity Review: Cabin camping with the sometimes-commentors

I don't know why anyone would care, but since it's been requested I'll oblige with a silly post about a silly trip.

So, the whole gang (for the most part) was there. This made the trip just as awful as you'd think it would.

My ideal vacation crew would look like this:



Notice the lack of commenters. Doesn't it seem glorious?

But as far as the trip itself was concerned, my review is short and painful (unlike the trip which was long and painful).

The low point was when Moronica arrived. The high point was leaving, obviously.



Whatever. I've lost interest.

Fine. Fuck it. I'll do it.

Shelley Pomeroy's End of the Year Party is actually happening. I'm not sure what's more impressive: That we did something we said we were going to, or that we all think we can be in a small mountain cabin for three days and not hate each other by the end of it. Excuse me, I mean hate each other more.

If I were betting, I'd say the odds are good that someone is trapped in a refrigerator that's on fire before Memorial Day. And if pressed, I'd name Moronica as the favorite to be enjoying an up-close view of the crisper drawer.

In real life, the blog's writers and posters act just like they do online. So you can imagine the potential for anti-awesomeness this trip possesses. It's not a vacation, it's a prison sentence.

On the other hand, Moronica is threatening to bring ungodly amounts of alcohol, and my favorite friend Doogie will be there.

More to come, I'm sure, after I serve my time. I'd write more, but the labels say it all...

I'd rather be doing anything than my paper(s)

hence the influx of (bad) posts by moi.


GET THAT MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING BABY!!

seriously, though, cheapest nanny ever.




my favorite part is that the parents (or best older siblings ever, seriously don't tell mom and dad what they did) who filmed it can afford a video camera, but can't afford baby pants.

Spring Homework Death Camp

I'm chained to my desk until I can fill up 35-40 pages of drivel for my classes next week. But no worries, for those of you who'd like to know what it's like, now you can play along at home!

Just hit play on my youtube playlist, which is what I'm listening to, and imagine yourself in great misery. Now we're twinsies!!

You asked for it, Anonymous.

Motherfucking LOLLost! I mean you didn't ask for THIS because no one would ask for this, but this is what you get. Read (can you even call it reading?) 'em and weep.






...

Oh, there's more.























And now I'm going to resume drinking/procrastinating.

Sometimes I feel like making love

And when I do, I like to play music that sets the mood.

It's important to create an environment that makes those involved feel comfortable and relaxed. The right music is integral to this.

And as I'm sure all of the unfortunate souls who've shared this experience with me would attest (that is, if they were still speaking to me at all), this playlist seems the most appropriate for the special occasion.