I'm not saying I'm a righteous-living, God-fearing exemplar of humanity like our friend Job. I'm actually a lot more like our other friend Gob. All I'm saying is there's a precedent for someone up there fucking around with people down here basically just for kicks.
I've long had the sneaking suspicion that I'm one of God's Chosen-To-Be-Fucked-With People and this last weekend kind of strengthens my case.
Sometime on Friday while at work with the adult retards. I lost my keys and I haven't found them. There might be a spare set somewhere but the car I drive belongs to someone else in a different city so the car is cooling its jets way out in the country where we keep the adults with many many disabilities (not least of which is their sexual predation but that's a whole other post). I did spend my only two days off in I don't know how long looking for these keys, or walking my bike with one flat tire (and I can't just buy a new tube at Wal-Mart because, like an idiot, I have non-standard size wheels), or sitting around Professor's waiting for my friends to get off work so they can give me a ride. It was exactly how I wanted to spend my one weekend off. But it wasn't all misery and indignity. The weather was snowy and icy and I did get a chest cold and I did lock my medication in my car so by Sunday morning I was going through a very unpleasant withdrawal. Ah well.
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33 comments:
Take a page from the Book of Job and suck it up.
Didn't I just say I was not as good as Job? Can you read, Keith? No wonder Vinnie gets all your cases.
Anyway. Do you want me to rend my garments? Gnash my teeth? Shave my head? Is that going to start my car?
Why don't you take a different leaf from the Book of Job and die like his children?
I think rending your garments, gnashing your teeth, and shaving your head would provide this blog's readership with more entertainment than this post.
too long, didn't read.
If you push the enter key you can make paragraphs.
i didn't realize you had a prescritpion for your herbal remedy. and i thought they only did that in california anyways.
try harder. first off. different Rx. second off. you can get an Rx for that other stuff in Ks.
"Rending my garments" seems like a great euphemism for violent masturbation.
As in... "Them PREVERTS over on the tard farm sure do rend their garments. It's like a man-paste hurricane up in there."
That said, I'm guessing you DID rend your garments once you got back home. Probably rended them something fierce. At that point it would've been the only thing left to make you feel whole again.
Who could blame you?
Sorry, I was the one who said you could make this into paragraphs and then I would read it.
I also suggested hitting the enter key to accomplish this; totally forgot you lost your keys. Now it all makes sense.
given 'rent garments' equals masturbation. those retards rend garments all day long.
seriously. you can just be sitting there talking about any old thing and one of them will get all hot and bothered and run into his room to rub one out. it's hilarious/disgusting.
if 'too long. didn't read' was a deal breaker for you, have you read any of these posts?
cuz they all kind of suck, you know.
it's not simply that it's "tl,dr", it's that moronica decided that the best presentation for this blarg post was to give the reader the dreaded wall of text.
Which is something I refuse to deal with.
Also, it's my common practice to avoid moronica posts.
you and me both, nony. you and me both.
yes, but he broke it up with witty wiki hotlinks, and that's SOMETHING.
Unrelated: Keith, have you considered "Keith SARS?"
Yeah, the links were fun. And the second paragraph was totally readable. It's that damn monster under the bed- the last paragraph.
It's like moronica doesn't realize that we're children of television; our attention spans are something or other
And Keith Sars is a great name. I demand you change it whomever you are
I think it's more like Moronica doesn't care.
Also. I'm pretty sure it's 'whoever' not 'whomever'
if I say 'whoever' I don't sound like a prick.
I like Keith Scars better than Keith Sars.
When did this turn into the grammar blarg. I hate grammar. Grammar sucks.
Also. We've far exceeded my ten comment minimum. Let's have a new post already.
Remember, people. One set of footprints and all.
Babbles never should have used that analogy.
and as if my vote counts for anything.
I kind of like Keith SARS.
Is this public pressure or peer pressure? Either way, fine.
democracy seems to be working. I might actually vote in the next election.
moronica, this post was a good effort, but it sucked.
Try another tonite.
Please?
Pretty ballsy. Recommending that to one of the people who can turn the anonymous function off.
plus. I've seriously got nothing. the only thing I could blog about today is how tired I am and how one of the other dudes on playground duty totally stole my whistle today.
but then again. there are some people who think I would make a good custodian. so bonus!
maybe we can take up a collection so we can get the other bloggers gym memberships. the gym visits seem to generate the best posts.
myrtle. there are some who think those are the worst posts. really. the warst.
It didn't take long for this blog to devolve into a message bored for the prickish and socially retarded.
And I'm not excluding myself from this breed, either.
yeah, this place is like a magnet for the inept.
Hey! Usher has returned! Lookie here
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