Bonding through Fraud and Hate Crime

It's widely known that I dislike the other clowns at my clown college, which is why what I'm about to say is so surprising: I made two new best friends yesterday.

Yes, two new and amazing friends. In one day. Two friends, one day, just like that website with the girls and the cup.

Here's the thing: They don't know that we're best friends yet. And they probably never will, because I'm not entirely sure who my new best friends are, but I'll tell you what I do know.

Friend 1:
Yesterday I was at the library in my study carol when I noticed that I didn't have as much leg room as I'd like (I really need to stretch out if I"m going to be expected to learn), and I wanted to move the study carol behind mine back so I could steal some space. But before I did, I went to the list to see whose it was (we had to sign up for them last week and the sheet is still there).

I didn't recognize the names, but before I could go back to adversely possessing their leg room, I scanned the list. Each study carol is supposed to have 3 people in it, even though most only have two (which means any random serial killer can sign up for the 3rd spot and ruin your semester).

In an effort to keep the goofballs away, the students at one carol filled in a fake name on their carol's 3rd line: Art Vandelay!

Friend 2:
After this amazing experience I decided I was too amped up to continue studying, so I was going to go home and watch Full House on dvd. While walking up to my car in the lot I noticed that the car next to mine was covered with stupid stickers. And hidden amongst the "Republicans for Voldemort" and the "Wal-Mart: Low wages/low morals" was a stick-on emblem of a dinosaur eating a jesus fish. The same one I have on my car, but that isn't why we're friends.

A piece of it was broken off by some hoodlum in the same spot that mine's broken!!! i was like omg and could have died right there