So I'm a clean freak about bathrooms. I mean I let the bathroom get pretty filthy, but when I clean it I clean the holy shit out of it, and I clean the tub last because then I can just do it while I'm in the shower and when I finish bathing the whole bathroom's clean.
I'm pretty sure this makes me a cleaning freak rather than a clean freak but whatever.
So the shower curtain has gotten so gross that although I'm pretty sure it used to be clear I couldn't swear to it, so I put vinegar in a spray bottle and took it in the shower with me. It didn't work, of course, so I added dish soap to the mix. (And at this point I wondered if maybe it wasn't too smart. Like the kid that Babbles worked with who mixed bleach and ammonia to clean the floor and inadvertently made mustard gas.)
But it fucking worked like a charm. Cleaned that scum right up. And I had the entire thing sparkling clean before I realized that the floor of the tub had gotten really slick. Like, REALLY slick. And so had all the other surfaces I guess, because shampoo bottles started falling off of the ledge and onto my toes. Turns out the vinegarsoap had turned the scum into a sort of slick chemical sludge that sticks to any surface it splashes onto.
So I'm naked, feet sliding around in gray goo, creeped out because the shower curtain is so clean that I can now see my neighbor's house through the open bathroom door and dining room window, cursing my battered toes, reeking of vinegar, and I realize that maybe I'm not the total badass I sort of suspected I was.
(sigh.)
Anyway, it's clean now. Whatever.
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16 comments:
this might be the first post to make me laugh out loud
I coughed for over 45 minutes when that guy mixed bleach and ammonia; worst lunch break ever.
It sounds like you invented a chemical solution that turns things into gross. I bet there's a big market for this in asia.
At first, I thought this was a Moronica. It sounded like a Moronica. Then it came to the part about bathing, and I knew that couldn't be right.
where did this not bathing idea come from.
I clean the fuck out of myself. It's everything else I refuse to lift a finger to do anything about.
P fucking S, slags
I'm editing your title; I don't like you implying I was this dumb when I was 21 (which I was, by the way), the incident you're referring to happened when I was like sixteen.
If you don't like it, you can sit on it potsy.
editing posts for accuracy is setting the bar a bit high
I'm a fan of the title change.
OK, did you or did you not work at Wal-Mart (still) in 2001?
My last girlfriend was born in 1996.
ave,
At first I thought your comment was a Moronica. . .
update: my bathroom still smells like a goddamn easter egg.
at least you've contained the smell in one room; have you been to moronica's apartment?
of course she hasn't been to moronica's apartment.
she's a woman.
a.v.e
I have been to Moronica's apartment, actually.
I tried to use the restroom but my ass fell through the broken toilet seat and I got toilet-rim-sludge on the backs of my thighs.
Then I had to debate whether to use a wipe to clean myself off even though they were Clorox wipes and not baby wipes as I'd hoped.
All in all not one of my better 15 minutes.
I have been to Moronica's apartment, actually.
I tried to use the restroom but my ass fell through the broken toilet seat and I got toilet-rim-sludge on the backs of my thighs.
Then I had to debate whether to use a wipe to clean myself off even though they were Clorox wipes and not baby wipes as I'd hoped.
All in all not one of my better 15 minutes.
What I find truly incredible about this post is that apparently Slaggers listens to all of Babbles' stories. And remembers them.
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