Two Guys, Two Girls and a Submit Button

Life doesn't suck. Our lives suck.



Thursday, March 13, 2008

What the French, Toast?

So very few days pass in this concrete and white walled prison . . . *ahem*, institute of higher learning where I don't find someone to focus my contempt upon, and today I've decided to share him with all of you.

Mr. Roger Kimball

I came across Mr. K as he was railing against the classification of americans by hyphenation. (that damn hyphenation, always at the root of all America's problems). His argument is that calling yourself "African-American", "Asian-American" and so on, and so forth, signifies that you are only provisionally american, and as such, have only a divided allegiance at best. And regardless of my low opinion of his argument, it was the analogy he used next that solidified his new status as "Arch-Nemesis of the Day".

He says this is similar to the problem of hyphenating of the brides name in marriage. It is a gesture of independence that is simultaneously a declaration of divided loyalty.

Listen up, Jackass - I have one of (if not THE) coolest last name on the planet, and apparently 'cause I don't want to trade it on for something all plain-vanilla-mediocre like . . . oh, I don't know. . . Kimball - I will never have as solid a commitment to my marriage as someone who would. Damn me and my independence prone, disloyal heart. If I happen to come across a certain Mr. Jesus C. Superstar I may take his last name, by the same token, if I fall head over heels for Viktor Sleazak -- chances are I'll keep what I've got, thanks. And either way, it's none of Mr. Kimball's business.

23 comments:

Oliver Babbles said...

I'm just glad that I wasn't the focus of your contempt today. It's nice to get a vacation once in a while.

A.v.E said...

Cut him some slack.

His brother's wife was killed by a one-armed man over some big ado regarding kidney medicine or something.

Oliver Babbles said...

THAT'S why this name sounded familiar. And also, spoiler alert, not everyone's seen the second best movie of 1993. And I thought it was his wife?

Gal Swearengen said...

Richard Kimble, kids.

sheesh.

A.v.E said...

I live in Chicago. You don't need to correct shit on me when it comes to "The Fugitive." I specified brother's wife, because Roger's brother is Richard.

Provasic!

Oliver Babbles said...

angel is a(n) hispanic-american. his opinion means nothing because of his divided allegiances.

A.v.E said...

I only have one allegiance.

And its to my miyagi.

Gal Swearengen said...

No need to go throwing around your "312" pride around on here . . .

I'll stand corrected.

But I'll still point out the difference in spelling on the last name - we get all nit-picky about the grammar on here, why not spelling as well.

Slogan Echoes said...

I move that Avenue's "Miyagi" be permanently stricken from the record.

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure this guy's appearance is punishment enough for his asinine views.

Molly Slaggerty said...

Which guy? If we're gonna slander (and I'm all for a good slanderin') let's do it pointedly.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Roger Kimball (the guy the post is written about?)

Anonymous said...

jesus slags, did you even read the post?

Molly Slaggerty said...

Yeah, and by the way, that hyphenation thing is total bullshit. And even if it weren't, what would be so wrong with declaring one's divided loyalty to her spouse and family?

Dig the butt-chin and askew bowtie though. And those glasses are HAWT. I'd marry him and hyphenate my name to Molly Slaggerty-Fuckface.

Anonymous said...

here's another fantastic photo:
http://www.rageboy.com/mbimages/roger-kimball-fool.jpg

Molly Slaggerty said...

I put a ".jpg" on it and it worked.

Jesus, is he a fucking robot? He looks exactly the same in both photos! And exactly how many of those perma-skew bowties does the man have?

Molly Slaggerty said...

"Mr. Roger Kimball (the guy the post is written about?)"

Ohhhhhhhh. THAT guy. The guy... we're... all talking about. Yeah, you're right.

Anonymous said...

I get the feeling slags is talking to herself.

Molly Slaggerty said...

I do get a little punchy this time of night.

Oliver Babbles said...

I may have been promised today that I get to be the maid of honor at the Gal/Jesus Christ Superstar wedding extravanganza (if it were to happen)

Slogan Echoes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Slogan Echoes said...

The best part of that wedding is the guest list. Imagine getting toasty with This Guy at the reception.


"You are the CHRIST! You are the great Jesus CHRIST!"

Anonymous said...

I wonder if we can get to DJ the post-ceremony party?